The Trouble with Comparison.

Hey there!

Summer months are important; the #glowup is so crucial to so many of us. You may find yourself wrapped up in YouTube videos on how to slay your hair poolside or how to contour effectively… you might just find yourself in a place where you start to think/say “Why can’t I do this like …” Stop. Right. There.

Someone once came to me in a state; they were worried about so many things and had many questions. “Why am I single? Why don’t I have a job? Why don’t I know what I’m doing with the rest of my life? So and So just got engaged, I’m 20! Why haven’t I found the one? What if I never find the one? Why is everything so hard? Why am I here, why do we even do it all? What’s the point?” So it got me thinking; Why is everyone always comparing themselves to other people, celebrities, friends? How do you be and become your best self and constantly compare your progress to others? You can’t. You won’t. Think of these 5 things next time you freak out:

  1. There is no rush. You have so much of your life to explore, and to simply, be. Your 20s will be the best years of your life; don’t waste them. I read somewhere that life should be about the verbs. So go hiking, swimming in a lagoon, swimming with dolphins, explore and live. Be selfish, take yourself out to a dine in restaurant- alone. Go on that trip you’ve always wanted to go on. Travel to the beach solo, put yourself out of your comfort zone, you meet so many more people this way, trust me.
  2. Do not put people on a pedestal who relate to you in no ways. One big mistake that someone can do is to look up to someone or idolize someone who has nothing in common with them. For instance, say you have a hair crush, and you watch all of their YouTube videos, study their hair regimen, but the products they use, and after 2 months of the same thing you see no changes in you hair. Your hair is not growing like theirs is, and now you’re sad. Ask yourself: why am I not seeing changes? Do we have the same hair type? Do we live in the same environment? What works for one person may not work for you. Shake it off and head back to the drawing board; you got this.
  3. There is a reason for everything. Every thought that passes through your beautiful mind, whether you act upon it or not, has a reason behind it. Do you sleep all day because you’re tired, or because you’re afraid? Are you really putting yourself in a position to be proud of yourself? Are you giving yourself grace? If not, why? Why does it hurt you to see someone doing better than you are? Are you truly confident, really confident? Do you live for you, or for everyone else? If not for you, than for who? IMG_0535
  4. Be your own fire. Use what inspires you as a guide and make it your own. Your favorite blogger may travel around the world, and you may want to do the same but you know your bank account is not having ittt (we’ve all been there). Put yourself in a position to make all of your “I wish could” thoughts into “When I…” spoken words of action. You are the only one with the power to change who you are, inspiration is simply fuel. Only YOU can be the one to strike the match and set that fire ablaze. It’s okay to be afraid, but go ahead, dot it. Light it up.
  5. It’s okay to acknowledge that you’re not where you want to be. This is the first step to bring you right where you were meant to be all along. The first step on any road to the top is acknowledging that there is a problem. All things worth doing are not always easy. The minute you get out of your comfort zone and put yourself in a position for change, real results, nothing can stop you. Those same people who you want to be like don’t have it all figured out, I assure you! They didn’t end up where they are overnight. So, what do you want to change about yourself? Do you want to read more? Exercise more? Save more? Be less careful? Be bolder? Be more?
  6. The only person that you have to compete with is the person you were yesterday. It’s all about perception. If you killed the day yesterday, wouldn’t you want to do it all over again tomorrow, but better and with more passion, with less complaints? That is who you should aim to be. The best version of yourself. Not the girl who has a different hair type and whose body is thin and fit. But you, flaws and all. This goes to say that you know yourself better than anyone else- guaranteed. Only you know what truly works for you, so listen to your body, your hair, and your heart & head combined. This is the most important thing to keep in mind. Challenge yourself. Leap to new heights. Give more. Be more. IMG_1710
  7. There is strength and something to be feared in the one who is completely themselves. Guys believe me! Remember that man/woman who you had your eye on, but whose attention got caught by the sassy woman /striking man across the room? That was no stroke of luck. You attract what you offer. When you walk into a room and all these thought are in your head, is your outfit right? Do you look like you could pull this all off with minimal effort? Are you comparing yourself to the woman 2 leagues from you who looks put together? All of these worries, these thoughts, are written on your face and people can tell. So why fret? The person you are is who you are, and your friends and significant others will be able to tell that this is the real you, truly you. There is nothing to fear. Let all of the stress and What-Ifs go.

We all have things we wish we could change, people we want to be, but in the end, we all just need to be ourselves and stop comparing ourselves to others. Comparison of yourself to others is a root of unhappiness, and no one wants to be without joy. The moment in which you decide to drop the self-doubt, the worries, the fear, is the moment that you become a true force, and you are just that. If you have any questions about who I am, what’s going on in my head as I write these pieces and share them with you guys, why I am who I am, don’t hesitate to reach out, and post a comment.  Send me an email, come through on Instagram, Twitter, I want to hear from you! Don’t forget to subscribe, let me know what you guys want to see, what you thought of the post, if you’d like me to write something or if you just want to say hi! Follow me on social media, all of that info is on the Contact Page.

IMG_0423

I am still growing and changing. With each day comes a new lesson, I am learning each day. With a few weeks left until I am 21, I still have so much to learn.

Sending you light and good vibes on this beautiful day to be alive.

 

Sincerely,

Subi

 

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s